Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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