well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
