idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
