I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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