So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
