I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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