What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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