I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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