I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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