Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
