I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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