You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
