I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
