We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just found puke in my bra..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
