butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize