Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
