The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
should my penis look like a turkey
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
