I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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