don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
