if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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