i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
