Where is the hickey?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
