I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
