2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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