it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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