Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
