My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
