I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
