Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
