i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
