What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
