when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
