since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
