Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
