There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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