A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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