U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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