as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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