pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
