haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
