we made out on top of his cat.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
