Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
fuck your aforementioned shoe
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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