I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sext me about skeletons
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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