I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
