if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
