: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
