So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
