I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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