Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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