I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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